Diaries of a Dothraki Screamer
by Dreamville
Summary: (SI/OC) I died and somehow find myself in the body of a Dothraki. I don't really want much out of this new life, just not to die in some horrific way. Unfortunately, in a society that encourages murder at weddings, its much much harder than you would think.


My death, probably the seminal moment of my life, wasn't even anything to write home about. I was walking down the sidewalk, humming along to a Jimi Hendrix song as I reached up to adjust my earphones. Unfortunately, that meant my hands had to try and leave the warm confines of my jacket pocket and fix my headphones without turning to a block of ice.

Reaching up, I plucked the earphones out of my ear and as I got ready to put it back in, I heard the sudden screeching of a car. Turning around, I looked in horror as some douche lost control of his truck and slid across the icy street. I know a lot of people claim that right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes and all that jazz.

That may be true for them, but as the car slid toward me, my mind blanked in fear right before the car smashed into to me. There was an instant of excruciating pain before fading into nothingness.

Which leaves me where I am now. I'm not sure where I am, but everything feels so dark and comfortable that I feel like I want to do nothing else but sleep. Unfortunately, I start feeling a stinging pain on my face which is keeping me from going back to sleep. With great difficulty, I wrenched my eyes open to find a vulture looking me straight in the face. With a strangled cry, I swatted at the bird who screeched and flew upwards with a burst of feathers.

Chest heaving, I looked around, unsure where in the hell I am. All around me was dirt and the sun shone over me illuminating what appeared to be some kind of ditch. Suddenly, a small breeze arose and I was assaulted with the foul smell of feces. Well, that explains what kind of ditch this is, but why the hell am I in here? The last thing I remember was getting hit by a car . . . .

As I made to get up, my hands slipped on something and I fell onto my elbows bringing my face close to the floor. With growing horror, I realized that I'd been sitting on a pool of blood.

I gave a manly scream as I jumped to my feet and stumbled backwards away from the blood. Panicking, I looked around for its source as I ineffectually wiped the wet blood from my hands onto my pants.

Suddenly, I felt a piercing pain on my chest causing me to yell in pain as it reverberated through my body. Eyes closed in pain, I reached to my chest before recoiling in shock as it came back wet. Looking down, I stared in disturbed fascination as I saw a gaping stab wound on the center of my chest. Welp, I guess I know where the blood was coming from. However, that was not what terrified me. What scared me was watching my flesh grow as the wound slowly clotted and healed.

Feeling overwhelmed at my apparent newfound healing ability, I tore my eyes away from my chest and looked around when something caught my eye. Glancing down, I saw the reflection of an unfamiliar face in the blood. Instead of a young Irish man with reddish brown hair and brown eyes, I was seeing a dark skinned boy with jet black hair and even darker eyes.

My body froze in shock as I slowly reached to touch my face, my blood drenched hands leaving smears of blood as I traced my face. This was too real to be a dream, yet too weird to be reality.

I never was particularly religious, but as I stared down onto my new face, I could find no other explanation than divine intervention. Surely now, of all times, he would answer my call.

"Hey God, I know I haven't called in a while. But like, can you please tell me what is going on" I cried out loud. Instead of God's voice, a ringing sound suddenly filled the air along with the beating of drums.

Taking one last glance at my face, I slowly climbed out of the ditch and into the sunlight. Collapsing onto the ground after the laborious climb, I glanced up only to feel my stomach drop.

A broad and grassy road winded before me, slowly making its way up the many rocky hills. On both sides of the road were small monuments adorned with symbols and intricate looking items. I wasn't interested in the road however, I was too busy staring at the two gigantic bronze stallions whose hooves met a hundred feet above the roadway to form a pointed arch that framed a mountain.

Those statues were too distinct and recognizable, I'd read about and seen this city in too many videos for me to not recognize them. Somehow, that car had hit me hard enough to knock me into Vaes Dothrak, the sole Dothraki city located in the fictional universe of a Song of Ice and Fire.

A feeling of grim certainly settled over me as I finally realized how truly deep in shit I was. Vaes Dothrak was located at the the heart of the Dothraki sea, also known as, north of nowhere and east of any inkling of civilization. Slowly, I began walking forward toward the city from where the sound of bells and drums was still emanating.

"Maaaaaan", I said out loud, "I have a feeling I'm not in Kansas anymore".

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**Hello! Please review/favorite my story, I figuratively live off of them. I'm still a fairly new writer sooo, literally anything would help this story along. I plan for this to be a far more realistic take of these SI stories. A lot of them tend to veer off into wish fulfillment with the SI getting everything they want relatively easily. That won't happen here, everything the SI gets, he will FIGHT TO THE DEATH for it. Mostly figuratively, sometimes literally. **


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